年度笑話冠軍

一隻蛇與一隻兔子在森林中的叉路相撞，兩人爭吵一陣後竟發現，彼此都是個瞎子，便惺惺相惜了起來。

蛇泣道：「我從小就沒了父母，連水中的倒影也看不見，到現在我還不曉得我是什麼動物。」「我也是耶！」兔子也感傷的說：「我也不知道自己長什麼樣子.....」

一陣長談，蛇想出了一個點子，它向兔子道：「我想到了，我門彼此觸摸對方，告訴對方是什麼動物好嗎？」

兔子興奮的大叫 :「好啊好啊好啊，我終於可以知道我是什麼動物了！」

蛇說：「我先來！！」

接著他便把小白兔捲起來......

「嗯！ 你有溫暖的身體，毛茸茸的身子，長長大大的耳朵，尖尖的鼻子，健壯的後腿，還有一小條尾巴，末端還附一個小毛球....」

「我知道了！！」蛇高興的大喊：「你是隻小白兔！！」

知道身世的兔子大喜：「該我了，該我了！！」

便蹦蹦跳跳到了蛇的身邊，開始用鼻子觸摸....「嗯？哇！！你是個冷血動物，臉皮跟身子皮都很厚，還有黏黏噁心的外表，嘖嘖！有長長可以到處鑽的身體，但是竟然沒有肩膀.........哇靠！頭小小的沒什麼腦袋，嘴巴竟是全身最大的器官......天啊！！嘴巴裡有毒牙！還有分叉的舌頭！！」

兔子突然大怒跳開：「你他媽的竟然是立法委員！！」

Catholic Coffee

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends,
"My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says,
"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says,
"My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" stomach and 34" hips.

When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."